Pictures to share

Eagerness and anticipation: Advent.

Sleep and reading. My life for this week in a nutshell. I've been catching up on any sleep that I lost during the fall semester, and it is rather gratifying to sleep in at whatever hour I wish, even if it is 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning. Perhaps I've already mentioned that I am a gros dormeur (deep sleeper). It helps me to have at least 8h30 to 9h30 of sleep. I actually feel that I am at the optimum level after getting that much sleep. Looking at the statistics posted by the National Sleep Foundation, it seems that each individual person has a certain optimum number. Mine tends to be higher and has been at that level since I was a teenager. Funny looking back to teenage years as I am now in my twenties (early twenties, mind you, but still...).

I've been reading through the "Pensees" by Pascal, especially the proofs for the existence of God, which I savor every time. His section on the limits of human reason as well as the case for Christianity as the only religion that can work, because of Christ as the mediator through which we have access to God. The Pensees (which translate to thoughts) are profound statements, written in the form of aphorisms that touch on the most profound things in the universe. You have to really dig into them to reach into what is incomprehensible but that which we are able to know through faith. Truly amazing and remarkable.

The time is coming for my departure, and I am exceptionally excited. I booked a ticket to see "Mozart, the Rock Opera," (musical comedy) in French, on December 25, so that I'll have something to do before meeting my family at the Gare Montparnasse (the main train station for Bretagne) in Paris, 14th arrondissement, on the 26th. I do feel like a kid again, waiting for Christmas, but, in fact, it's coming to me this year. My parents will be here in just a couple days. I don't think it could get any better than this. I'm planning on giving my parents and little brother the biggest hug I've given them yet. (Intense, we're talking close to a minute of embrace! Haha.) I have my gifts wrapped and ready, including a bottle of Bordeaux rose wine that we can share (speaking of which, I need to buy cork-screw-- tire-bouchon) and enjoy as an aperitif in our hotel. With my train tickets in hand, I'm ready to go. Just have to pack my bags and then I'll be ready to head out.

Tomorrow, which is Christmas Eve, will be spent at home with the Griffon family. We'll have a Christmas Eve dinner and probably head out to the mass at the Basilica Notre Dame, which is only a few steps down the road from my house. On the 25th, I will be at the house for opening presents and then leave on my TGV at about 10am. I can't believe it's finally almost here!

Charlie Brown Christmas and skyping for the holidays

One of my favorite holiday traditions is gathering around to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas." This entire afternoon, I was listening to the Vince Guaraldi Trio playing the music that is very festive and memorable. I was so excited about listening to the music that I decided to find the actual movie on iTunes, which I proceeded to purchase on iTunes so that I would have a definitive copy of it, rather than searching YouTube all the time. Of course, I am a sucker for wanting to do everything the legal way. Doing any kind of illegal downloading frightens me, since you never know what an illegal file could do to your computer. Anyway, I enjoyed downloading music and watching the classic Christmas special today.

Also, this afternoon, I spoke with my middle brother, Jeff, via Skype from his Air Force base in Altus, Oklahoma. He seems to be doing well. Jeff wrote me a very frank and brotherly message the other day that I was very happy to read on Facebook. He will be spending Christmas in Austin, TX with his friends in a not-so-shabby hotel, the Sheraton. Jeff seems to love Austin for the cultural things that there are to do there. He mentioned going to a death metal concert and entering into a fist fight to "save" his friends from an attack. Anyone who knows my brother, Jeff, knows he doesn't "take no shit" from anyone and will ensure that justice is taken care of, even if that involves blood and scaring off people with his physical prowess. (He's in such great shape, as he has had intensive physical training both during the football season in high school and in the military.) Anyway, he told me about that. He seems excited about seeing the whole family at his return in May. I'm looking forward to seeing him after I return home.

This evening, I will speak with my parents once more as they get ready to come see me in Paris. Hopefully, there will be no weather-related delays or cancellations as England and surrounding areas have been hammered with terrible weather. It looks like the "all-clear" can be sounded, looking at the meteo web sites for the Paris (Ile-de-France) region. Later, this week, I will have a skype visit with Elizabeth (my childhood and lifelong friend) and Devin, a good friend from college. Looking forward to communicating with people back home. So many blessings with technology these days.

Volubilis presents Schubert Mass No. 6 in E flat major

I finally learned the name of my choral group this afternoon and evening, Volubilis, a mouth-full if you ask me. It was a beautiful day. The snow melted, clearing the roads and making it possible for Antoine and I to arrive safely and soundly in Evron, 20 km to the north. We left promptly at 13:30 to head to the Evron Basilica. It was rather cold when we arrived and on the inside of the basilica, it was freezing. Fortunately, there were pink-colored light heaters all around the stage and scattered throughout the building. The church is absolutely stunning with beautiful stain-glassed windows, dating from the 12th century, so during the feudal times in France. When I arrived, I had to go to the bathroom really bad. Ok, my strategy on hydration was to completely gorge myself with water and coffee before arriving so that I wouldn't have to drink anything during the performance. For the most part, that idea worked. I wasn't thirsty during the performance. However, I did have to go to the bathroom three times. (And it wasn't in the church either. It was in a toilet hidden right next to a feudal archway, marked "Publics WC.") Not exactly the cleanest but it served its purpose.

The choir warmed up, everyone in their coats shivering in the freezing cold church. I felt bad for the orchestra players, because anyone who knows anything about strings, knows that cold temperatures make strings go flat and can also create cracks in the instruments. For anyone, it can be miserable to play, no matter what the instrument. We managed just fine. During the rehearsal, I saw Sylvain, one of my friends from orchestra and asked if he could use my camera to take some pictures. He did and also used his professional camera with which he will provide all the members of the choir with quality photos. So I will have good ones to take home. I went to the dressing room in one of the wings of the basilica. Took off my coat and was left with only my dark grey/off-black sweater, which was all I had to keep warm. Some of the choir members were like, "you're not too cold?" shivering under mink coats. I sighed and said, "No." It must be my thick Netherlands pale skin that keeps me warm. I'm used to the cold in any case.

The concert started late (as is usual in the Mayenne, 20 minutes late at that), but with a packed house. My heart was warmed when it started and my spirits rose with each movement. For the most part, I knew the notes and most of the words in Latin. But there were definitely passages where I was unsure about the articulation of the words and synchronization with the notes. That's the tricky part with Latin texts. But then again, I only had 5 weeks to learn the piece, which in itself was a feat. It seems I'm learning to learn music quickly. Good musicianship takes certain things, though. Number one: a pencil. Listening to a recording. Attending all rehearsals, if possible. And most importantly, watching! That's what I did half the time during the concert. I watched our director, Annick, in order to receive the consonants and any tricky entrances. Sometimes, the tenors were together. Sometimes not. I did see some of them buried in their scores, which was not so encouraging. Certainly, this music requires concentration. But watching is an absolute necessity to ensure togetherness.

Now to the creme de la creme, the solos. In any mass, there are solo sections for a quartet of singers. Schubert, a truly gifted composer, created a beautiful section in the Credo movement entitled, "Et incarnatus est de Spirtu Sancto." I almost feel as if this area is a dance section in a slow 4 in which people could dance gracefully at a party. It almost reminds you of the party in the "Sound of Music," at the Von Trapp family house. So beautiful with the violoncelli leading in. The two tenor solos are absolutely out of this world, and I was so jealous that I couldn't sing them. (They're meant for professionals, of course.) And the soprano solo is clear as crystal at each melodious entrance. The baritone equally had a warm part in the quartet. These soloists are professional musicians, educated at the best music schools across France and England, and former students of Annick. In total, there were three main solo sections, but "Et incarnatus est" was my favorite.

At the end, we had a going-home kind of moment called, "Dona nobis pacem." So beautiful and exciting just to sing what means, "give us peace." Such a great way to end the mass. With love and warmth and dignity. And the mass ended peacefully with a quiet diminuendo down to a piannissimo and there was silence in the basilica for 30 seconds. Applause for a long while. One of the older guys asked me to present a flower to one of the soloists and do the bise (French kiss on the cheeks). So I presented a flower to the soprano (she's really quite beautiful and had an extensive CV in the program, having studied at the Conservatoire in Paris) and gave her the bise. Such a beautiful way to end with an appreciation of the soloists.

After the concert, I went to Annick's (our director's) house for a holiday party, complete with homemade cider, plenty of white and red wines to go around, pate, boeuf bourguignon, and other holiday desserts and such.) Elation and satisfaction.

And now, I will enjoy a week of rest and relaxation before heading to Paris with its illuminations and holiday magic.

The vacation arrives! And my host family goes to DISNEYLAND! And more snow!

Today marked the end of my teaching duties for the rest of the calendar year before the beginning of January. I was so excited, because at lunch time, I headed to the lycee and got a complete holiday meal, filled with traditional French dishes for Christmas time. I had foie gras, rolls, stuffed chicken, French cheeses to paste onto a piece of freshly baked bread, and a chocolate cake with raspberries on the side. Chocolate bars and candy, oh the fun. And yes, when I get candy with my meal, I sometimes feel like a little kid getting a toy in a Happy Meal at McDonald's (which they call, MacDo here in France). Yes, I used to love getting special surprises as a child, especially candy.

After my very lovely lunch at the lycee, I headed home to go with Emilie, Bastien's girlfriend, to Leclerc (a giant supermarket) to find foodstuff gifts for the host family. We ended up picking out a gift basket with coffee, hot chocolate, chocolate truffles, etc. for Nathy and Pascal, my host parents. We went in together to get these. And then, for the children, I decided to buy a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates nicely presented in a tin that they will be able to share. Emilie told me that the children adore these chocolates. Score. I finished my Christmas shopping for the season. And then, I entrusted Emilie to wrapping them for me... (Yeah, I don't trust my wrapping skills. They're really horrendous sometimes. Plus, I was just lazy.)

This afternoon, I went to a meeting for the London trip, which went well, except I got a little bored. I know hardly anything about London. So I've never been, and I had no ideas about activities we could do with the kids while on the trip. So I found it was almost a waste of time. Nevertheless, I don't have to pay a dime for the trip, because I'm a chaperone (accompagnateur). Nice perk to assistantship in France, huh?!

I returned home to listen to music, complete my graduate school applications, etc. I submitted the applications for Brown and Illinois this afternoon. I also sent off the audio recording in the mail to the United States for Brown's application. I'm in high hopes that I will be going to Brown (in Providence, Rhode Island) next year. Meanwhile, I got an interesting email from an Illinois professor encouraging me to apply (after I had submitted; she must have not known) and looking forward to reading my application. This was the same professor who said that my research interests were almost exactly in line with hers and another professor at Illinois. So it looks like Illinois could be a choice that could be just as good as Brown. Who knows? Only the Lord at the moment.

Dinner this evening was good. We had meat (salami, ham, and other cold cuts), cheese, and potatoes. We cooked the meat and fondued the cheese over a heater/stove/oven thing that they use frequently in the Alps. Delicious and enjoyable.

Tomorrow, my host family heads to Disneyland for an all day affair, perhaps in the snow. I chose not to go first of all because of the cost factor and second, we have Disney Parks in the US that probably are better. Why experience Disney in France when you can experience the real thing in the US? It's almost the same attractions. Disney is Disney no matter where you go.

Here in Mayenne, I stay tomorrow, do some more Christmas browsing at the shops, resting, and a bit of reading. I'm trying to get into the Christmas spirit. Downloading some Christmas music should help. The Christmas present I long for: to see my family, will be here before I know it. Being away from my parents this far and long has shown me a true appreciation for family. I'm excited to get a hug for the first time in three months. (Hugs are not in vogue here, as I've mentioned.) It's going to be really special in a great place, Paris. Ah, vacation.

Better end to the week

It seems that even when I get sick as I was Sunday through Monday, I always recover very swiftly by the grace of God. I'm feeling in tip-top shape, returning to school this final stretch before the vacation. Notes that I have mentioned before about the church are just expressions of my frustration when I was sick and at the church. They don't necessarily reflect how I feel right now. I'm not keen on leaving my church family behind so soon, even though that's the way I felt a couple days ago. Mainly, I was miserable and needed some way to vent my anger, frustration, and misery that lingered over from Sunday to Monday.

So I feel much better and do intend to stay with my current church without a problem. Tomorrow, I will give a class to the middle schoolers (my last one of the 2010 year) and then have a nice Christmas dinner with the faculty of the high school, complete with four or five courses and only paying 2 euros for the entire thing! Afterwards, I will have my meeting for the London trip with the English teachers. Finally, I will send in my audio CD to Brown as well as my Brown and Illinois applications. So by the end of next week, all my applications will be in and I will relax for the remainder of the holidays!

Some things do have to get worse before they get better, but I just think things are getting better in any case.

A terrible day in Nantes but I got my visa stamped and validated!

I'm just going to go right out and say it. My visit to Nantes really sucked. It was freezing cold and I had to find my way around in the cold to get to my medical appointment. A couple mishaps made this lightning fast visit miserable. At the beginning, I was able to meet a group of female assistants from Laval (an area right near me), which was helpful seeing as I could walk around with them and help them find the place where we were going, which was the OFII (French Office of Immigration). It was nice to simply walk around and go shopping. Of course, I was surrounded by a bunch of females, who just loved to spend two hours in a shopping center, time that I would much rather have spent in a cafe, brasserie, or restaurant, sipping a glass of espresso and eating a French meal. Nonetheless, I gave in and let the females do their "shopping" or rather looking and trying-on, mostly without buying. Ladies, of course you know what I'm talking about. Meanwhile, I did my own shopping and found presents for my dad and my brother who's in the Air Force at H&M, a nice clothing store in Nantes (which is also very popular in the United States). Happy to have found my presents, I left with the girls and we proceeded to buy tickets for the tramway. We bought them out of a machine right in front of where you board the tram. I bought two just in case, not realizing that they expire exactly one hour after purchase.

Nevertheless, I didn't foresee what an ordeal not having the ticket validated would become. The girls boarded and apparently, validated or composted (time-stamped) their ticket right before I boarded and I didn't see. So I assumed you had to compost afterwards. The controleur (or conductor) came up to me and I showed him the unstamped ticket. I said, "Sir , I forgot to stamp my ticket. I didn't mean to and didn't know when to stamp it." He said, "let me see your card." I showed him a driver's license. We got off at the next stop. I then proceeded to show him my rail reduction card. Next, he wrote me a ticket for 33 euros for not validating the ticket. I felt incredibly humiliated and embarrassed, maybe a little angry that the girls didn't tell me that you had to validate the ticket right before the tram left the station. Apparently, most French people would have made a scene and then filed a complaint to avoid paying for the ticket, but I was in no mood to do so. I just followed orders and paid with my debit card on the spot, without question. Very American of me-- following the authority. I hardly ate anything afterwards because I was so upset over being publicly humiliated by the transportation authorities in Nantes.

The medical visit was fortunately much more enjoyable. I had to get an x-ray of my lungs, which are perfectly healthy as I do not smoke and take care of myself. I talked to the medical doctor about my eating habits and exercise (which as of yet, has consisted of swimming regularly at the pool-- "the perfect sport" in the opinion of the doctor). After this, I waited to get my passport stamped to officially validate my visa, stating that I am indeed welcome in France for the next several months (or until August). The lady finishing the validation also explained the procedure of renewal in case I do return to France next year as a student, for example. I would have to go and see the Prefecture and provide an acceptance letter from a French university to do so. Perhaps that will happen. Anyway, it's done and I can stay in France until August and then renew two months in advance, if I intend to return next year.

Coming back, I got sick with a virus that infected my entire system. I found my way to the train station in Nantes sans probleme, fortunately. But I was freezing, had a headache, and felt that I had a running temperature. At the very least, the trip home was agreeable. The TGV train ride of 35 minutes went fine and then a bus ride home got me home around 7:15pm. And then I had to wait an hour for my host mother to arrive to pick me up from the train station. By the time I finally reached home, I was ready for a tea and sleep, which I promptly took care of.

This week, I have been talking to the sophomores and juniors about superheroes and sidekicks. I think they've been enjoying the topic. I thought it was a pretty exciting topic to discuss. The British Council seems to be providing me with the ideas I need to produce a good lesson that can be enjoyed by most, if not all, the students in the class. That is encouraging. I will return to their site often for further resources in the future, if need be. The vacation is two days away. I cannot wait.

Another weekend, one more week...

It was a fairly good weekend. The concert at the Basilica of Notre Dame went very well and the church was packed the evening of the performance. Afterwards, we had a late-night party, which was thoroughly enjoyable. I've continued to have trouble sleeping at night. It seems that my system has trouble at night, perhaps because I'm a night owl. It is difficult for me to have restful sleep all the time, and that has caused some problems with chronic fatigue. Hopefully, that will be remedied with the vacation and rest.

I went to church this morning exhausted more than ever before, especially after going to bed at around three o'clock in the morning. It was a rather miserable time in church for me, to say the least. Not to mention, I had to hear an hour of a sermon from the over-energetic, fiery, and sometimes charismatic elder of the church. He said several things that I didn't agree with theologically. Not the first time actually. What unnerved me the worst, was when he talked about how it was not "normal" to be single today and how man was meant to get married from the beginning. His words about singlehood and marriage were not at all encouraging. And also, he was yelling practically the entire time, which is a huge turn off when it comes to lecturing and delivering the Word. Add to that, I didn't feel "in the Spirit" at all this morning and even the morning worship songs did not speak to me in ways they had previously. Adjusting to this church has been hard, and I don't feel I've completely made the adjustment. I have a couple friends that I don't want to lose if I were to choose to leave. But it's difficult to stay at a place, where I'm not feeling completely part of the atmosphere and disagree with several theological points. So, at the moment, I'm contemplating looking for another church at the beginning of the new year.

Tomorrow, I head to Nantes for the final step in validating my visa at the "medical visit." It's so disappointing, because I have never actually "done" Nantes. Every time I've gone (this makes three times), I've gone for business. This was the original city where I wanted to go from the selection process for the assistant program. Oh well. I might just have to make the trip sometime else. At least, I get a day off from school, making my week a four-day week before vacation. It's so close, I could reach out and touch it...

Tenor Power!

This evening I had a great rehearsal with the tenors, a much needed supplementary rehearsal after all the other general rehearsals with all voice parts. And of course, I'm still learning the music. This evening, it was so much better. The tenors had a homogeneous sound and we felt much more together, working as a unit rather than several individuals trying to sustain the tenor part. My voice this evening was in much better condition than Monday. We honed in on all the difficult spots of the music and made adjustments as necessary with our directrice Annick Vert directing at the piano. This tenor section is truly a dream, and I'm loving every minute singing with them.

The rehearsal was the end of a wonderful day. Everything at school went smoothly without any problem. I enchanted the middle schoolers while singing Christmas carols and teaching them the words to "We wish you a merry Christmas." This afternoon, my high schoolers enjoyed talking about consumerism and materialism, remarking different aspects that pervade the entire world. Encouraging day.

More music on the way with the orchestra concert in the Mayenne basilica on Saturday. Such is the life of a musician at Christmas time. Happy Holidays!

Relaxing plunge into the pool

After a long morning of classes and a nap in the afternoon, I decided to go to the pool to continue my swimming routine that I have enjoyed numerous times. Swimming, for me, is a sport I love, and it's perhaps the only one I can truly appreciate, because for one, it's relaxing, two, it's a total body workout, three, I love swimming under water with gills like a fish (Think King Arthur and Merlin: "Be a fish!"-- I am the fish, the beastly fish.) What I do for 50 minutes is I swim laps alternating between breath-stroke, swimming underwater, butterfly, and freestyle. There's something about being in the water in my shorty maillot de bain and wearing my goggles that is so therapeutic and cool that all my cares drift away into the cholorinized water and I just think about swimming and being the fish that I mentioned above. It's exhilarating and relaxing.

The simple joys of going to the pool, things we cherished in childhood days, continue on. I take advantage of these moments to be thankful and to feel the blessings that I receive from the Lord every day.

Losing things and Consumerism

Perhaps, the people that know me well know that I tend to lose things, even though I have them right under my nose. Mostly small things such as pens and pencils. When I lose them, however, I feel as if my whole world has been overturned and that I've made such a grave error. Those mistakes seem to happen more frequently than I thought possible. And I'm getting tired of it. Last Thursday, I lost my key for the middle school. I retraced my steps as much as possible, cleared off my dresser, looked on and under furniture, basically overturned my whole room. I checked my cubby at school, thinking that perhaps it was there. Vanished. It's awful, because I think I have everything and then I leave the key some place, go take a nap, and forget where in creation I put the darn thing. And as I've mentioned before, my memory tends to be fuzzy, even short term memory. So I feel lost in that sense, hoping that I will be able to recover the key that somehow slipped by without my realization. It's incredibly frustrating. And I wish I had photographic memory or at least, a better memory that could pen-point exactly where I put things and when. It seems it should be just as easy as putting things back in the same place every time, but it seems that I sometimes don't think and end up forgetting my placement of things. I wish I could be more conscious of where I put things, so that things would never get lost. Such is my hope and perhaps a New Year's Resolution to remember where I put things so that I won't lose things as often. Sometimes I feel the problem is having too much stuff and not knowing where to put everything... having less seems as if it would eradicate many of these complicated problems.

This week, I'm talking to my students about consumerism, an appropriate topic for the Christmas holidays. The students seem to think that we are overusing our resources as we spend and spend and that we would do much better to conserve rather than consume. Interesting insights from the terminale students. In a world, where buying the latest... has become the norm, it seems that we are overrunning our resources to the point of scarcity. Greed seems to be on most people's minds and less satisfaction with anything they currently have. People are unhappy because society creates their "needs." The media controls how we think and act. It's a scary thing to think we are so much influenced by the media. Yet, it's an undeniable reality. I'm looking forward to hearing the opinions from the other classes this week.

Sous le soleil exactement (Exactly under the sun)

Just a little update: we had a nice snow storm a couple days ago which actually covered the ground all over the area and made driving conditions treacherous. Today, all of that waned as the rain came and temperatures rose to 8 degrees Celcius (translation: in the 40s). So going to orchestra in the cold rain was not particularly fun. Our rehearsal lasted for three hours today exceptionally so that we could be more than adequately prepared for our concert next week. And I can tell for a fact that we will have a great concert complete with full orchestra, a Christmas story, and, of course, the basilica lit up with candlelight. I cannot wait to participate in this concert.

After the rehearsal, I went to the library and picked up the first volume of "In Remembrance of Time Past" by Proust (in French, of course) and "L'homme revolte" by Camus. These will be my reading for the next couple weeks. Then, I walked home from the library in the rain but with a parapluie (umbrella). I spent the afternoon sleeping, revising my statement of purpose for Brown, and listening music. A quiet afternoon, just the way I like it. No worries. Just relaxing. I found a song that one of my friends posted on facebook and reveled in its inherent happiness and wishfulness. It's called "Sous le soleil exactement," sung by Nouvelle Vague (1960s) actress Anna Karina. Apparently, she had quite the career in France and this song was a huge hit. The song made me want to bask in the warm sun, maybe on the beach. (The video was shot on a beach with Karina dancing on the beach). I would love to see some sunshine sometime. It's been grey for days here in Mayenne. And yes, that's where I want to be... « Sous le soleil exactement, pas à côté, par n’importe où, sous le soleil, sous le soleil exactement, juste en dessous. » (Exactly under the sun, not to the side, or anywhere else, under the sun, under the sun, right underneath.)

Just a little note of happiness

Despite my usual grunts with getting out of bed on Wednesday mornings, I have some good news to share. I talked with the administration about renewing my contract, and it looks as if it may be possible for me to stay an extra month, still working, but it will give me additional time to travel around Europe, etc. That means I would return to the States in the middle of June. I have no problem with this, seeing as I would return to complete boredom with an awfully long summer with not a lot to do, if I returned in May. Of course, the game of finding a summer job is also at stake, but I would be earning money through the assistant program that I could bring back with me. I want to stay in France as long as possible. Hopefully, this will work out.

On another note, I am planning on going with the high school students to London as a chaperone during the month of April right before the vacation, or the time when I go with the orchestra to Barcelona! Never been to London, and this would be an awesome opportunity seeing as I wouldn't have to pay. Teachers go free. Another perk to being an assistant, I guess. ;) It seems every month is getting better, and in a mere three and half weeks, I will see my parents and younger brother in Paris.