Searching for some peace of mind

Still unsure about the next couple months. I'm hoping that I'll get to stay through the month of May. Signs seem to be promising, so I think I can have the peace of mind that it will work out. Paris doesn't seem to be on my radar screen this weekend. Knowing that my professor is booked makes things kind of awful. Plus, I have to pay him back for the play ticket I didn't even get to use... such is life. I'm not letting these situations bog me down. I have every reason to be happy, knowing where I'm going to be for the next six years. That, in itself, is a reason to rejoice in the Lord, seeing as I am a long-term planner who needs a definitive plan and direction.

Teaching continues to come with joys and challenges. Monday mornings are always the worst for me and this week, it didn't get any better than the last time. It was worse since the juniors (1eres) completely ignored my assignments and refused to work after telling me that they had lied about wanting to listen to Justin Bieber. Une blague! A joke. Well, of course, I was livid. This is my least favorite group of students to work with at the high school and they just had to put the cherry on top of a nice gotcha sundae and throw it in my face! Powerless, I just didn't know what to do. So, I asked them what they wanted to listen to. Dissenting opinion echoed in the chamber and I was forced to let them talk and head out the door without a lesson. Most of the time, with this group, they don't give a s*** so it kind of rubs off on me... I'm just going to show them a movie for the next three weeks before we go on the London trip. Maybe that will shut their little mouths up, especially since it's a suspense/psychological thriller that I have shown to my terminale students, "The Prestige."

As for the terminale students, it's always a good time. I talked about the issues of masculinity and femininity as they are depicted in popular culture starting with Disney movies. The students started by listing stereotypes of men and women in French culture and then we proceeded to watch (1) a video with Disney male characters and their stereotypical six-pack abs, strong, mighty heroes who objectify women, (2) a commercial showing the man as a beer drinking person who uses women to his own benefit, (3) a movie that talked about women and their role according to the media. Using the ideas about masculinity and femininity, we talked about two striking images that would help these kids to formulate ideas surrounding documents for their English oral exam. The first image showed a group of manly men looking at the reader with a message, "Are you man enough to be a nurse?" The students responded to the image. Next, we looked at an image of an over-muscular, almost steroid-taking looking woman and contrasting that with a man with his shirt off sunbathing and having a massage. From both of my groups of terminales, I got some good responses and it was encouraging.

Tonight, my secondes said goodbye to the Accompagnement Personnalise. Still trying to figure out what exactly the title of this course is supposed to mean... I assume it simply means an oral production class. Anyway, the activity today was almost 95 percent the students doing. I gave instructions and gave advice. The students plunged in and imagined their future lives in the year 2025. They created an imaginary profile. Then they each acted as journalists and documented interviews between each other asking each other questions. It was magnificent. A time-tested success story that was a good way to end our "oral production in English" or just English conversation class.

Tomorrow, I will have a chance to say goodbye to the German assistant as she's leaving this Friday. We're having a night for the assistants at the Creperie Saint Martin across the river. Looking forward to some fellowship and fun. The following night, Thursday, I will get to go to a church member's house for dinner and some more fellowship. This seems to be the week of these enjoyable soirees, anything to brighten my once dampened and dimmed spirits.

A misfortune that deters my all my weekend plans

My time in France has not been without misfortune. From getting a 30 euro ticket for not composting the right way to being prevented from tutoring an adult student, I think I've become used to the fact that there are many ridiculous rules in France. Does it bother me? Yes, of course, but I can't let it consume me. Am I ticked off in these situations? Most definitely. But then again, I realize that in such situations, I am completely powerless and I might as well be a stoic about it and not let things outside of my control bother me.

Now, moving on to a situation that is both a misfortune and a disappointment. I had my parents lend me some money (my birthday is coming up, so I asked them at the right time) by depositing it into my account. I was unsure when I would get paid. And naturally, that date would fall after this coming weekend. So I played it safe. I tried to withdraw money from my account, but the machine ended up eating my card and saying "Carte capturee" or Card Confiscated. I had no idea what that meant. Just my luck, the Post Office had already closed. So I came back this morning. And the lady told me, "I'm sorry, but I don't have the right to give it back to you. It will be sent to the Carte Bleue headquarters and be promptly destroyed." I replied, "Yes, but it's an international card. What use would they have of it?" She said, "it makes no difference, I cannot give it back to you." So, here I am without my American bank account at my disposal, forced to act quickly and have my parents cancel the account and withdraw the remaining money. Powerless.

To make matters worse, I cannot go to Paris. I don't have enough money in my account. The depressingly low salary that we get as assistants is not sufficient to cover this weekend trip. I had to contact Alex. He is disappointed as well. So, here I am having to sulk in my own tears (maybe not literally) and deal with a dreadful disappointment. Trying to look on the bright side, though. I could have been in Paris and stranded without any means of covering expenses, which could have been far worse.

Anyway, I'm back home, a little shaken up by this affair, and hoping to get the situation worked out with my bank account today.

And look who's back. (The Doctor is REAL in)

After last week's almost exasperated post, I had to make a comeback as Jared McKee always does. The weekend gave me a time to stew in my own soup, so to speak even after feeling completely unable to handle things with the middle schoolers. I did some reading, relaxing, thinking, and created a set of lesson plans. In the end, I created something that I was truly proud of, because it succeeded on the day that was the make-or-break day, Monday.

Everyone was happy the first day of spring. Exceptionally, the Mayenne saw a beautiful, radiant day with sunshine the entire afternoon and cool temperatures. As I was listening to the Mumford & Sons and Ray Davies duo, "Days/This Time Tomorrow," beaming at the sunlight, I just knew today would be a good day. With my determination to make things so much better this week, I strode with confidence to the lycee for a full day of courses.

It all started well with the 1ESB students, who have constantly been a trial for me as I've searched high and low for something to peak their interest. I did well. I found a song by Jason Deluno entitled, "Whatcha Say," a recent popular song that we talked about a little bit. They enjoyed comparing the song to Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek," which was the inspiration for it. At the end, the kids said that we should listen to Justin Bieber next week. (Can you believe I'm saying I've never even heard Justin Bieber sing??)

For the first group of Terminale students, I was just warming up but it got much better by 3pm with my TLA students. I was filled with a vibrant energy as I talked about St. Patrick's Day with all the fervor of an Irishman. I enjoyed showing them some interesting videos about the holiday and even sharing "St. Patrick's Breastplate Prayer." To top it off, I showed a clip from "Riverdance," to make it even more entertaining.

Between classes, I basked in the sun as I headed down to the bakery to grab a pain au chocolat and cold drink. I felt the invigoration of spring just walking in the downtown part of my provincial town and a sense of growing accomplishment. When the week starts off well, you can't help but smile inside and out.

To top it all off with a cherry, I sustained the energy in my reservoir for the final hour at 17h. Using my silly little humor that I thank God for, I was able to keep the attention of the Terminale ESA students with videos and a written assessment. They went crazy over the Riverdance clip.

I don't like the idea of self-congratulatory affirmation, but I have to say, today showed and reminded me of why I'm here. Teaching has become such a gratifying experience for me as my calling. And that's wonderful.

Un petit mot: I've put my name in to extend my contract through the end of May. I feel that to end my pedagogical projects, I need another month. One of the English teachers has written a recommendation letter for me. This means, in effect, I will leave at the beginning of June. Hoping and praying this works out.
That would mean I would get to sing the Cantata No. 4 by J.S. Bach with Volubilis. If it's the Lord's will, all will work out seamlessly.

As to the rest of the week, I say, keep it coming...

Almost flying off the handle

The first week back from any extended break is extremely difficult and I tried to make it as bearable as possible. Recalling what I've heard in the past, it seems that the habits that you form in two weeks are either lost or gained. My discipline and any sense of being able to control the situation at hand has seemed to walk right out the back door. Fortunately, I have been able to handle things well with the high schoolers. As for the middle schoolers, it's a total other story...

With the high schoolers, I decided to come up with something easy without the need for extensive preparation. So, I talked about reality TV shows with them. We watched clips of Survivor and Big Brother, which were both entertaining and engaging. Then again, almost every student in the class told me that France has its own equivalent of the show. Looking at these shows, I can't help but feel ashamed of my culture that rejoices in such debauchery and depravity of human character. I was thinking this morning before having lunch how much I hated watching soap operas and reality TV shows, because they expose the most base of human instincts as well as their animalistic and Darwinistic struggle for survival in a dog-eat-dog world. Yet, people enjoy watching them, because they're entertaining and get high ratings. Although, to some extent, maybe they show life the way it really is. Even though these game shows are staged and rehearsed, reality TV does expose an aspect of reality, the way it is mired in human sin, a reality we have to face everyday.

My classes with the middle-schoolers were less philosophical and interesting, but the behavior was just plain awful. I ended up noting the names of students who were squirming in their seat, moving around, throwing shreds of paper on the ground. The list goes on and on. It was incredibly frustrating and got even worse today. My first class this afternoon, I ended up literally screaming at a boy who touched another boy to cause him to almost fall on the ground in his chair. I think my patience completely boiled over and I cracked. Everyone around me was talking and carrying on, and suddenly the flood of negative emotions exploded and I yelled and demanded this boy's carnet. Silence. I don't really get it. What in the name of heaven do I need to do to get middle-schoolers to listen to me?! Do I have to explode under pressure and show them that I mean no funny business? I don't know. But my middle school days seem to be getting bleaker and bleaker, and I have no choice but to ask and see if I can make other arrangements with the classes. I've almost had it with being alone and inexperienced and expected to do a meaningful lesson with 14 hormone-crazy middle-schoolers. It's too grandiose of an expectation. I need to work directly with a teacher and do a lesson WITH the teacher. That's exactly what I wanted at the beginning; it's what I expected to be doing, me, without a degree in teaching middle school or what have you. Here I am sitting here with a hoarse voice and splitting headache, tired of a rough second half of the week and hoping and praying things will get better next week.

Berliner Philharmoniker

As you can see from the photograph, the Berliner Philharmoniker is housed in an impressive new building that is yellow-orange. Entering, you see a very eclectic internal design. I arrived pretty early for the 20h performance, but I had a look around at the restaurant and lounge. Needless to say, I had no idea what my lounge would be like. Silvia told me that I had been given a box seat (free-gratuit). I climbed the stairs and entered into a luxurious lounge with a coat and waiting room, where I put my backpack and wool coat. My program was in German, but I kept it anyway as a souvenir. I entered into the hall and felt like the luckiest guy in the world. My box seat had a comfortable plush yellow chair with a view of the stadium-like Philharmonie. There were seats surrounding the orchestral stage and even a seating area behind the orchestra. It reminded me of a theater in the round. My box seat had an excellent view of both the orchestra (first violins, etc) and the conductor. The acoustics would be fantastic here. A World-Class Hall, Pre-eminent Symphony Orchestra in the Spectacular City of Berlin. Who could beat that?

Here are my notes of the Bruckner Symphony No. 5 in B major that I made right from my lounge seat above the Philharmoniker.

(1) Adagio-Allegro: A quiet beginning with the strings gradually crescendoing into a shimmering string passage with strings and woodwinds. A theme enters into the picture. A second part comes in with the second violins leading on and the first violins take up the reigns. The horn solo reigns within the piece echoed by the flute. More conversations seem to happen in this first movement. Recapitulation of the first theme then enters in and a minor key change brings in the element of conflict. It gets more aggressive, and yet closes with resolution.

(2) Adagio Sehr langsam- This movement has a slow four and is a dance. There are some coquettish parts on the part of the strings including the violas. A rich tutti brings in a full-body sound. Throughout this movement, there are enchanting passages with a clock-work pizzicato keeping time. Love the main theme that returns with the horns with an accompanying string part. And after the second movement, you hear an explosion of coughs and sneezes. Not so classy but at least it's done between movements.

(3) The Scherzo movement features Austrian dance music starting with strings and segueing into the woodwind conversation. It's jovial and happy with only a few interruptions or conflicts. A recapitulation of the main theme. In the middle, I could imagine traditional Austrian dances, perhaps something with a royal Austrian ball, where many people are dancing and having a good time. You could even say it happens in the summertime. It could almost be interpreted as a nostalgia.

(4) The Finale could be interpreted as a consummation, returning to several themes of the first movement. The main theme from the first movement comes in and the piece ends with dignity and beauty. I was wowed at the end for several seconds before the long applause filled the hall and audience smiled as the conductor took his bows and pointed at the world premiere orchestra.

The night of my life. I couldn't ask for anything more. As a concert-goer and classical musician, this was one of those bucket-list nights. I felt a heave of fulfillment and satisfaction as I exited the hall. It wasn't a dream; it was reality.

36 hours in Berlin, or How I managed to get around without German

All adventures have a fascinating story. My 55-hour trip from Mayenne to Berlin and back was nothing short of an adventure, especially seeing as I entered into a world that did not speak French, but did speak English. Some, not all, spoke English. For those who did not speak English, I had to rely on hand motions and the like to interpret the German. Still, it was an enjoyable experience. The entire trip was worth the roundtrip with my visit to the Berlin Philharmonic, which I have a separate section on.

My journey started at 10:30am on March 10. I took the Navette bus to Laval, where I would take my TGV train to Paris Montparnasse train station. I've gotten used to Montparnasse. Even in its busyness, I am still enjoying entering with the masses into its interior, because you are suddenly in Paris and that makes anyone feel good. To get out of Montparnasse and the 13th-14th arrondissements, I took the Car Air France bus for a whopping 11,5 euros to get to the Paris-Orly airport. While I was a little ticked off by the price of this 40 minute bus ride, I knew it would be much easier than taking two trains to the airport. Arriving at Orly, I went through security fine and ended up waiting a long time for my Easy Jet. The worst part was waiting in line to board, which I felt as though I was going to hyper-ventilate. On Easy Jet, there is no assigned seat, so everyone rushes in like a cattle herd to get in for a good seat. Fortunately for me, I was a single rider, so it made things much less complicated. There were groups that were trying to find seats together in this jam-packed flight. Nonetheless, we left on time and got to our destination on time.

As soon as we arrived at Berlin-Schoenefeld Airport or Flughafan, we went to baggage claim. I quickly looked for a big S for the S-Bahn and followed a hoard to get on the subway. Of course, here I was tired and having to navigate a complex metro system. I went up to a ticket machine and tried to order a ticket but had a lot of trouble. I knew I was taking the S-9 to Landsberger Allee (where the hostel was), but I did not know which ticket to buy. I ended up dropping 3 euros for a ticket that covered every area of Berlin just to make sure. I boarded my sub-way train and instantly heard German pronunciations of stations. Waited for about 35 minutes and arrived at my station. I took the wrong exit and wandered around trying to figure out how to get to the other side and the Generator Hostel, but I figured it out. Checked in to the hotel, grabbed a German kebab, and went to sleep... or tried. This hostel was definitely not my favorite part of the experience. Open rooms with 12-16 beds in suites, it was definitely not the best situation. But it was economical and included breakfast.

The next morning I got up, had breakfast, and took the 4 hour tour of Berlin with Sandmans Free Tour. It was long but really good. We started at the Brandenberg Tor (Gates), went around to see the Reichstag (German Parliament), saw the controversial Holocaust memorial, saw the site of where Hitler commited suicide in the Bunker, passed through the famous university in Berlin where many German intellectuals have attended, stood on the sight where the famous Nazi book-burnings were held (it's actually underground with a set of empty bookshelfs). After passing through these sections, we headed to the German tax building, which featured a propaganda mural of people living in Nazi Germany at the time of the Third Reich (totally inaccurate). From here, we went to museum island, saw the German cathedral and square where the Berlin Symphony Orchestra performs. Throughout this tour, we passed in and out of the invisible Berlin Wall and the tour guide told us the story of the Fall of the Wall, which was awesome.

After the tour, I headed to the German History Museum, which was great. I visited the 20th century exhibit, which had a lot of interesting photos and sites on Germany in the 20th century. I passed through history and had to ask in English questions about the museum, to which I got only German responses. I went straight to the German Reformation exhibit, which had materials on Martin Luther and Calvin. Very good. From there, I had to rush around to get back to the 20th century exhibit to see the Nazi propaganda, which was fascinating to look at. I felt a little bad about having to pick and choose out of this amazing museum. But I had fun, nonetheless. I exited, headed to the S-Bahn to head to the Main Station, which has an amazing glass ceiling and beautiful shopping area. I met my German friend promptly at 17h after having tasted currywurst and fries at a quick stop.

Silvia, my friend, and I went on yet another tour of the town. This time I had a local show me around. Silvia promptly gave me my ticket to the Philharmonic, which was actually a high-class honors lounge box seat with awesome acoustics. I was stoked! My dream was becoming a reality, to see the pre-eminent Berliner Philharmoniker. Amazing. Silvia and I walked around the Bundestag (German parliament building) and saw several sites again including the Brandenberg Gates, the embassy row of Berlin, and a large commercial center near the Philharmonie. We stopped at an ice cream shop, where I ordered a huge ice cream dessert with chocolate, cherry syrup, chocolate pieces in it, which I proceeded to swallow whole (as my dinner).

After saying goodbye to Sylvia, I went to the Philharmonie and took my seat after waiting. Above you will find my whole entry on the Berliner Philharmoniker. I indeed had the time of my life listening to the orchestra.

Sleeping in the hostel was pretty rough. I tried to go to sleep as I needed to get up extremely early the next morning to catch my flight. I took a Tylenol PM to get a little rest, but it didn't really help. I was awakened at 3:30am to people moving into my room, which was inconvenient and bothersome. I woke up and could hardly fall back asleep. Of course, to make it worse, one or two persons were coughing nonstop for several hours. I ended up leaving the room at 5:30am, because I couldn't stand being there any longer. Dropped off my key and then headed to the S-Bahn to take the S-41 to Schoeneweide. Here, the German attendant spoke to me in German and indicated that I had to get off. They were apparently doing construction on the tracks. I panicked a little, but saw that a sign indicated a S-Bahn correspondence with a bus. So, I took the bus with other passengers and we arrived at the Flughafen on time. I still had a couple hours to wait around after going through security. No problem. I grabbed a chocolate muffin and espresso. Took my flight to Orly. Had McDonald's. No big choice unfortunately.

Arrival at Montparnasse via shuttle bus. Grabbed a Starbucks Mocha Frap. They were having computer problems at Montparnasse so I had to wait for them to call my number and tell me which track my train would arrive at. Upon boarding my TGV, I headed to Laval. Upon arriving, I waited for a bus to get back to Mayenne. After all this, I was finally home at 7:01pm. I said a quick hello, headed up to my room to check my email, and collapsed on my bed at 9:00pm to sleep for more than 12 hours. Thus, ends my story of travel and adventure of my trip in Berlin.

Day-trip to Rennes (This time for a visit)

After having seen Rennes the day I went to the pastoral workshop, I just had to come back and see some of the cultural aspects of this delightful city that resembles Chattanooga in some respects. I entered into a beautiful train station with plenty of restaurants and markets. On coming into town, I saw the prestigious Lycee Emile Zola, which is apparently a very good high school in Rennes. The building had articulate classical architecture. From there, I went through the Place de la Republique Jaures and Parliament Square with a classic French look.

I decided to visit the Musee des Beaux Arts, where I saw anything from 16th century paintings of Jesus' Crucifixion to Renaissance work of a worship rite to Pan to nude statues and figures to Abstract expressionism and Picasso. Mostly French art lined the walls of this interesting museum, and I actually had the time to go through most of it without feeling bored or withdrawn. One striking exhibition featured three paintings (a series) by Caillebotte, which depicted three different scenes in nature. The first was a painting of children playing outside, the second featured rowers canoeing in a river, and the third showed swimmers diving into a natural water-hole. The way the light shone in on these paintings was fascinating and beautiful. I sat for several minutes and looked at the series as telling a story, yet showing a tableau of the beauty of nature. The greens and yellows stood out within these works and it was rather pleasant to see.

I then went to look for lunch, which was not that easy to do, seeing as I did not know the city well. I ended up circling around trying to find a place and came upon a brasserie with bright green and yellow colors that looked interesting. I picked a good one too, because the place filled up quickly at lunch, a good indicator of a quality restaurant. The place has bright but warm-colored glasses. I ordered a special salad with tomatoes, avocado, cucumber salad as an entree, beef stew a la nicoise (with delicious mushrooms and nicoise olives-mmm...). The stew came in a little mini pot, which I poured onto the delightfully square plate. The potage or orange-colored mashed potatoes (no, not sweet potatoes) also came in the mini-pot. As for dessert, I ordered a creme brulee and a petit cafe (espresso) with a chocolate truffle. This lunch was only a total of 13,5 euros. I felt satisfied and ready to do some more exploring.

After lunch, I headed to the Place Charles de Gaulle and over to the Musee de la Bretagne, a place that offered exhibits on the heritage and history of the Breton people of Western France. The history extended from the anthropological beginnings of man as Cro-magnon and Neanderthal and up to the present. My 7 euro ticket covered all the areas of the museum and the Planetarium. I enjoyed seeing the industrial development in Bretagne during the 18th-19th centuries. The exhibit on the history of cinema in Bretagne was wonderful. It featured video clips of various films about war, the sea, and farm life. It gave the impression of a Hollywood movie studio with cameras and sets, lots of headphones and clips, mini-theaters, etc. I had a great time looking around here.

Another exhibit that was impressive was the Dreyfus Affair exhibit, which showed the complete story of the 19th century trial of a Jewish man, who was accused of treason and leaking secrets to the German government. It had a dark room and even a court-room theater. Unfortunately, I had to rush around and get to the planetarium for my 14:30 showing.

The planetarium was an omnimax experience with chairs that reclined and a screen on the circular ceiling. It was great. I was re-introduced to the solar system (in French and after the un-planetization of Pluto). I was reminded of the lessons I had learned about planets from boy-scout star-watching and earth science. It was satisfying, a good ending to my experience in Rennes.